The Gospel According to Government

By Larken Rose

We read now from the Gospel according to Government, first book of Politicians, Chapter 1, Verse 1.

In the beginning, there was chaos and mayhem, and people were as wild beasts. And there was great wailing, and gnashing of teeth throughout the land. Then it came to pass that politicians came down out of heaven, shining in glory, and spoke unto the people, saying, “Were are the Lord thy government, and we have decided to bless you with our presence, so that we may save you from your sins. Obey our commands, pay tribute unto us, and salvation shall be yours. For you are but stupid, violent animals, and only through our benevolent domination of you shall you be transformed into a civilized, happy and prosperous people.”

And the people wondered at the words of the politicians, and were sorely afraid. But the politicians said unto them, “Fear not. If you blindly obey the god called government, and mindlessly follow our every whim, then you shall be blessed. But those who would disobey our commands–the heathens and criminals who think for themselves–being evil in our sight, shall be cast into prison, and banished from the collectivist paradise we shall create for you. Cast aside your individual judgment, your free will, your conscience and your moral codes, and follow us, the high priests of government, without thought or question. ”

“The foolish man builds his house upon consensus, cooperation, and voluntary interaction, but the wise man builds his house upon political promises, state coercion, and the lust for power over others. Free will, self-determination, and peaceful coexistence are the devil’s work, and lead only to fire and brimstone, suffering and torment. But blind obedience, unthinking loyalty, and unwavering subservience are the path to salvation.”

“You have heard that it hath been said, love your neighbor, and do unto others as you would have done unto you. But we, the politicians, say unto you, pray for the incarceration or extermination of those who are not like you. But pray also for your neighbors to be taxed and regulated, petition for your friends to be controlled and enslaved, devote your heart and soul to the rituals of the cult of politics, so that we, the high priests of government, may dominate all of mankind, for its own good. Only then shall you have everlasting peace.”

“We are the lord thy government, and here are our commandments. Thou shalt have no other gods before government. Thou shalt follow no moral codes and no value systems above the arbitrary whims of your masters. Thou shalt not take the name of government in vain, or speak against us, the high priests of state. For those who do so are sinners, criminals and terrorists in our eyes, and shall be wiped from the face of the earth.”

“Remember election day, to keep it holy. Judge not the politicians, lest ye be put on the no-fly list. Honor thy congressman and thy senator, that their reign may be long upon the land which government thy god has taken from thee.”

“Thou shalt murder, by voting for those who engage in perpetual war-mongering. Thou shalt kill, when government commands it. And the killing shall be called, “national defense,” “serving one’s country,” and “spreading democracy.” No greater love hath a man than this, that a man will go halfway around the world to murder complete strangers, because we told him to.”

“Thou shalt steal, by voting for your neighbors to be taxed, and thou shalt hate and persecute any who resist. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor’s income, and his house, and everything that is thy neighbor’s, and beg the lord thy government to take these things from thy neighbor, to give them unto thee. Verily we say unto you, it is greedy and selfish to keep what you have earned, but noble and virtuous to take what your neighbor has earned.”

“Thou shalt bear false witness, by calling thieves and robbers “public servants,” by calling usurpers and tyrants “representatives,” and by calling those who advocate liberty for all, “criminals and terrorists.”

Blessed are the blindly obedient, for the politicians shall reward them.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after power, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the voters, for they shall legitimize tyranny and oppression.

Blessed are the bankers, for they shall embezzle the earth.

Blessed are the jackbooted thugs, for they shall get away with murder.

Blessed are the corrupt in heart, for they shall receive power.

Blessed are the war-mongers, for they shall imagine themselves to be gods.

Blessed are they who have persecuted the innocent, for the politicians’ sakes, for they shall be promoted.

And cursed are the heathens and extremists, who speak out against our tyranny, who encourage you to question authority, and who instruct you to disobey immoral commands.

We, the politicians, say unto you, worship those who insult and exploit you, bow to those who extort and oppress you, and vote for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

Here ends our reading from the first book of politicians, from the gospel according to government.

[Reprinted by permission of the author. Originally presented June 2012, at Porcupine Freedom Festival (PorcFest), Lancaster, New Hampshire.]

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